29 May 2025
We all know the feeling – stress creeping up when deadlines loom or responsibilities pile up. It is easy to think of stress as something negative, something we should avoid. But is all stress really bad?
Actually, stress can be a helpful indicator when we recognise it. It can show us what is working for us, and what is not. When we really know how it shows up, it can teach us valuable lessons about how we handle the strains of the job.
So how can we turn stress it something that works for us, instead of against us?
Not all stress is equal
When we figure out how stress works in us, using it for good can help us build our resilience and ability to manage the difficult stuff.
First, we must pull ourselves away from believing stress is a totally bad thing set to interrupt and challenge our status quo.
What we often forget is that we are all good at handling stuff. You have managed hard and tricky situations before, and this is crucial when our mind wants to go into auto meltdown.
Stress and our subconscious
The usual panic spiral hits a default pattern when our sub conscious feels up against it. But if you’re able to remind it that “Hey – I can manage this ok – Remember?!” then just like a laptop, it will ‘go find’ that memory and have you handling the new problem beautifully – just like you did last time.
The trick is to notice – to have your radar going and to use any stressful situation to build your positive response.
Stress shows up in many ways and we have loads of personal responses to it. It can alert you to challenges, things you could do differently and that’s where our learning happens.
It’s not the situation that creates stress
The lack of stress you feel in a particular situation does not necessarily mean that there is not any negative fallout happening around it. Stress can stick to anyone open to it. A colleague may be handling things very differently from you and you may see them draw stress from something you find un-stressful. Your response may not be triggered by the same thing.
So, it is not the event or the situation, in itself, that is stressful. The level of stress it creates in us is in HOW we process and manage it.
Now this is a big ‘A -ha’ moment.
So, it is not the situation that is the problem. The problem – and the stress levels we are left with, lie in how we deal with what we see as the problem. If we recognise that the problem is us, then the solution – experiencing less stress – also lies with us.
Rather than feel overwhelmed – we should be doing a dance at what stress can teach us. The lesson is - the more you get your stress-management right, the more you will continue to get it right.
The aim is to come away from a challenge ‘mud-free’.
Here is my suggestion when you feel in a tight spot: rather than lie down and let stress wash over you, stand up with confidence. The ‘situation’ will still wash over you, but the more times you resist the fall out that could stick to you, the less mess you will end up with.
By resisting, you are building your resistance. You are using your stress for good. Rather than be overwhelming and draining, it is helping you build your mental muscle, and this will make you more capable and more adaptable in the future.
Here’s your 1-2-3 of stress:
- Get to know your triggers – what presses your buttons and leaves a ‘stress badge’ on you
- Decide you are resilient. You have positive history in this area. You are ready to resist any fallout
- Face the challenge and call up your mental muscle to leave you sparkling clean
As the poets tell us ‘Let others fall as they will…”
Decide that stress is not something you are prepared to carry for the ride. When you do, you will find that you have learned to use the presence of stress to your advantage.
I’ll be at the annual NAEO Summer Conference talking about’ Reducing Separate Invigilation Requests’ and offering to work with schools ready to mentally prepare students for their 2026 exams! Want me to work with you?
Come and say hello, pick up your Goodie Bag and get the details.
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